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Righty-o! Back on the Christmas beat today, folks!
Now, despite my love for all things green n’ red, I sometimes feel that we gloss over the freakier aspects of Christmas. Namely, the weirdos who emerge to taunt us with inappropriate hugs, force reluctant kids to sit on their knees and blame way too much on the spiced rum.
Take, for instance, the ubiquitously terrifying mall Santa Claus. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, check out this ode to nightmare-inducing St. Nicks that Billy Reid from Very Tasteful just released (see right). Which one do you think is the creepiest?
Sometimes the nut jobs are in your own house, which is even worse because you can’t just duck into a JC Penney change room and hide for hours. To help you identify these misfits, I created this chart for Two magazine. Oh, and looky who just happens to be there...mall santa. Just another incentive to shop online, people.
HOLIDAY BLOGGAGE, DAY 6
Christmas is like a golden thread that runs through our lives, connecting our childhoods to our present selves and beyond.
What I wouldn’t give to hold the present in the telltale shape of a She-Ra figure! Or hear bells streaking through the backyard (a neighbour, pretending to be Santa - not actually streaking, but then again it was dark so who knows). Or decorate the tree with my two brothers, bickering over who gets to hang the coveted ornament known “The Cute Santa Claus.”
Today I’m thinking about the two Christmases I spent in Lewes, England, the little town that romanced my imagination and refuses to relinquish its hold on my heart.
Snow was a no-show, but the air was chilly and wet, which suits my Westcoast-born self just fine. The lead-up to Christmas was laden with traditional fare like mince pies, mulled wine and Christmas cake. Also, they say “Happy Christmas” instead of Merry Christmas, and Christmas is occasionally abbreviated to “Crimbo.”
While we’re at it, “pants” are underwear, “a minger” is an ugly girl and a “minge” is...not suitable to discuss in a Christmas blog.
Lets get back to nutcracking, shall we?
On Christmas Eve, the friendly, family-run pub I frequented (The Brewers Arms) was packed. One year, a friend and I brought our guitars and played carols as the entire pub sang along - a moment that could easily have been plucked from Victorian times. It was one for the mental scrapbook!
Upon the big day itself, the English tend to eat “Christmas Lunch” in the afternoon. Sometimes the main course is even goose (Dickens-approved).
I guess it goes to show that Christmas nostalgia needn’t be relegated to childhood - it’s a work in progress. So remember that this year’s Christmas is next year’s fond memory, and make it count.
What’s your most cherished holiday memory?
HOLIDAY BLOGGAGE, DAY 5
Admittedly, we girls have PMS, say cryptic things and expect men to read our minds about 90 per cent of the time. But you know what, guys? YOU are hard to shop for.
So there!!!!!!!!!!!!
Luckily, there’s this awesome website called www.thinkgeek.com that offers all kinds of funky gifts for the omnipresent male inner child. I get an extra large kick out of their set of interactive t-shirts, such as the Personal Speaker Shirt, WiFi Detector Shirt and the (all-new) Electronic Rock Guitar Shirt. Battery powered? Yes. Hilarious? Yes. Annoying? You know it.
But after looking at these, how can you possibly give soap on a rope again?
***While we’re on the shopping train, here’s a coupon for Bench clothing that my Canadian readers can print, cut out, and use in today and tomorrow.***
HOLIDAY BLOGGAGE, DAY 4
Of course you have. And so do I. Every. Single. Day.
I’ve never been much of a blog reader, but recently someone posted a link on Facebook that got me addicted to a blog called Kath Eats Real Food.
Basically, this girl named Kath Younger who lives in North Carolina blogs about everything she eats. It all started when she realized that she had put on a fair bit of weight in college. Determined to get back in shape, she shed 30 pounds by eating healthy and exercising (shocker, I know! And all these years, I thought inhaling KFC skin was the secret to success!!!).
What’s great about Kath’s blog is that she’s likeable, honest and inspiring, and she understands the value of posting oodles of photos. Turns out, other people have just as much of a voyeuristic streak as I do - Kath’s blog is immensely popular, garnering hundreds of comments every day!
So, what does this have to do with Yuletide?
- Well, one of Kath’s huge passions is oatmeal (see her instructional video, left), and last year she concocted a rather creative version of her fave breakfast for a contest. She has agreed to share it with y’all on my blog today.
Season's Greetings!
I've made hundreds (and hundreds!) of oatmeal combinations throughout the past two years of food blogging and this holiday Winter Wonderland oatmeal stands out as one of my most unique and delicious recipes. I didn't expect the flavors to work so well together, but peppermint and coconut were made for one another. Happy Holiday Eating!
- Kath
And here’s the recipe:
Winter Quakerland Oatmeal
Serves 1
- ¾ cup Quaker Old Fashioned oatmeal (heart-healthy serving)
- 1 ¼ cups water
- ¼ cup Silk Soy Milk Egg Nog
- 1/8 tsp ground nutmeg
- 1 tsp (about 4 grams) crushed candy cane
- 1 tsp (about 7 grams) chopped walnuts, toasted in a dry skillet if desired
- 1 tsp powdered sugar
- Crush candy cane in a zip top bag with a heavy pot, mallet, or rolling pin
- Combine oats, water and Silk Nog in a non-stick pot and set heat to medium.
- When oatmeal begins to thicken, begin to whip vigorously with a spatula, allowing the starch to be released.
- Continue whipping oats until reaching desired thickness, about 5 minutes.
- Stir in nutmeg.
- Pour oatmeal into bowl and top with crushed candy cane and walnuts.
- Dust with powdered sugar.
- Enjoy!
HOLIDAY BLOGGAGE, DAY 3
IN CANADA, BUY THE ALBUM HERE
IN THE US AND ELSEWHERE, BUY IT HERE
Other news: If you’re in Toronto, you can catch the Good Lovelies’ Christmas CD release party, Dec 6 at Hugh’s Room!
HOLIDAY BLOGGAGE, DAY 2
It is December 1st and I am celebrating two things today:
2. The beginning of advent calendar season!!!!!
Now, I don’t know about you, but my advent calendar MUST be chocolate. I know there are fabric ones, and advent calendars that reveal little nativity scene pictures, but I feel that if the wee baby Jesus doesn’t melt in my mouth then he’s got no business in my advent calendar.
In fact, what I’d really like to see is an adult sized advent calendar that conceals progressively larger full chocolate bars. Like, on Dec. 21 your door swings open and, wowee, you’ve got yourself a Mr. Big. YEAH BABY!
A couple of years ago, Harrods came up with a calendar made from “burr elm and walnut wood” that was aimed at adults. At least, that’s what I’m guessing by the $50,000 price tag.
Leaving Shoppers in my wake, I made a detour to Starbucks, where I shared my quest with a most introspective barista.
“OMIGOD, I THINK I’D JUST EAT THE WHOLE THING ON DAY ONE!” she exclaimed.
She had a point - now that I’m an adult, will I be able to control myself?
But the question remains...will I daintily eat them day by day, one-by-one? Or will I allow my inner child to emerge, tear apart Belle’s face and liberate the underlying plastic chocolate tray in a nanosecond?
Even if I did, the repercussions would be minimal: given that the chocolates are pathetically miniscule, the entire thing is just 300 calories.
HOLIDAY BLOGGAGE, DAY 1
Let’s not mince words here: I heart Christmas.
I love the scent of a real tree, the look of lights twinkling against the snow and the possibility of eating sugar plums, even though I don’t have a freakin’ clue what those are.
I even sorta, kinda, maybe like Wham’s Last Christmas - even after the 100 billionth play at the mall. (Pretty much the worst video ever though...I can’t believe the edited out the orgy scene)
To indulge my love of this gloriously excessive holiday, for the month of December I will be dedicating this blog to all things XMAS - cooking, crafting, decorating, obnoxious carolling, movie watching, weight gaining, some travel, gift ideas and general merrymaking! Follow me as I make my way from Toronto back home to Vancouver Island, where I vow to add to the dysfunction by assaulting my family with my camera and compulsive need to blog!
Here are a couple pics from “Last Christmas” - my bros and I giving our mom a human sleigh ride, and my dad simultaneously playing the keys and cutting the turkey.
Finally, I want to hear from you! Got a favourite holiday recipe, craft or tradition you’d like to share? Just email me a photo of yourself with said cake/wreath/game of naked holiday twister along with the instructions and I’ll post it here!
As Emilio Estevez uttered in Young Guns: “I’ll make you famous.”
(Of course, then he shot the person. I wouldn’t do that, not at Christmas.)
To kick things off, I offer you this look at HOLIDAY DESSERTS FROM EUROPE, a little story I penned for aol.ca.
~Hark, what is yon sound? 'Tis the sweet tooth singing "Hallelujah!" For between the sugar plums, the candy canes, the gingerbread and the chocolate oranges, Christmas is a veritable blizzard of granulated sugar. Looking for some new ideas to enliven your table this year? Try some old ones. Check out our gallery of traditional European holiday desserts.~
(Click this link for descriptions and recipes from England, Italy, France, Spain, Germany and Denmark!)