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Beer and Dirndls at Oktoberfest
BY REB STEVENSON
MUNICH, GERMANY – The moment I saw that transformative piece of cinematic genius, National Lampoon’s European Vacation, I wanted to don the dirndl.
It’s the ultimate combination of folksy and flirty – in other words, tradition with great cleavage.
When I arrived at the Munich train station for Oktoberfest, I knew I was in luck. Even there, drunken revelers were teetering around in colorful costume.
But where the heck did one acquire a dirndl? Certainly not H&M.
I confided my fashion urge to Tanja Duerheimer, spokesperson for Munich Tourism, who confirmed that I would be remiss if I sported a t-shirt to Theresienwiese, the 42-acre field in Munich where Oktoberfest unfolds.
“Ten years ago, it was totally out for a young person to go in dirndl and lederhosen. You went in your jeans and branded clothing,” she said. “Now you’re totally out if you don’t have a dirndl.”
So we marched over to a busy shop that was economically named “Wies’n-Tracht und mehr.”
READ ENTIRE ARTICLE HERE
A Taste of...Anguilla
What is it? Hungry’s Lunch Truck
Where is it? The Valley
Describe it? Feasting your eyes on Anguilla’s shocking turquoise beaches is free. Feasting anywhere else will cost you an arm and a leg. The small island off St. Maarten (population: 13, 000) has a reputation for fine – but costly – cuisine. To save a few bucks, do as the locals do and visit Hungry’s Lunch Truck in The Valley. Owner Irad Gumbs, a professional chef, serves a host of Anguillian specialty soups like whelk, conch and pea with pig tail. The humble truck also whips up salads, pastas and quesadillas you won’t find at Taco Bell ... lobster in a tortilla, anyone?
How much? $5 US for a bowl of soup, $14 US for a lobster quesadilla.
FROM MY FOOD AND SOUVENIR COLUMN IN
Goodbye Stodgy Ottawa - Hello Stockwell Day Finger Puppet
OTTAWA – So you think you know Ottawa.
If you’re an Ontarian, it’s easy to trace the origin of your “been there, done that” mentality. It was that mandatory class trip in eighth grade, when you reluctantly dragged your awkward limbs around Parliament Hill, the war museum and the mint.
Who gave a hoot about Sir John A. Macdonald back then? You were more impressed by lunch at the Rideau St. McDonald’s.
All of those stodgy old attractions continue to bore teenagers to death. But if you haven’t visited the capital since Brian Mulroney ruled the roost, you’re in for a pleasant surprise.
You can still absorb lots of Canadiana, only without the clichés. Here are a few Ottawa tourist activities with updated options.
Read on HERE
Mhor Than a Scottish Country Inn
Story and photos by Reb Stevenson
PERTHSHIRE, SCOTLAND - A posh fish n’ chips shop, a back-to-basics cookery school, a rural tearoom, a traditional bakery, a working farm and a stylish boutique hotel: this is the mighty clan of Mhor.
Set amongst the Scottish Highlands in Trossachs National Park, Mhor is a vertically integrated tourism product masterminded by award winning chef Tom Lewis.
“We’ve got so much on our doorstep, it makes it easy,” says Lewis.
It started simply enough: once upon a time Lewis’ mom hung a sign reading “Tea and Scones” outside their pink farmhouse. Read More...
Capital C-O-O-L
1. Pricey “MP’s Wife” designer boutiques, a.k.a. SHOULDER PAD CENTRAL.
2. Musty vintage stores.
So you can imagine the combination of shock/delight that I felt when I visited Ottawa this week and found some top-notch shopping and eats. I’m talking about stuff that even us stuck-up Torontonians would call cool. Furthermore, many of them are masterminded by hip, young girls.
Another awesome pick is Workshop, a funky store that specializes in goods that are handmade by Canadian (and mostly local) women. Looking for an edgy Canadian souvenir - check out these political finger puppets, featuring Olivia Chow, Stephen Harper and the gang!
Shacking Up with Sugar
A Taste of...The Dutch Caribbean
What is it? Keshi Yena
Where is it? Aruba
Describe it? There is a very strong Dutch flavour on the ABC islands (Aruba, Bonaire, Curacao), and that flavour is gouda. Though they seem a tad incongruous with the steamy Caribbean environment, wheels of this Euro-cheese abound in local grocery stores. But the best way to go Dutch is to sample Keshi Yena at a traditional restaurant. It’s a succulent stew of ground beef, chicken, raisins, prunes, nuts, olives and spices, all stuffed into a gouda and baked.
How much? $16 at Papiamento, a restaurant set in an old colonial manor (Washington 60, Noord)
FROM MY FOOD AND SOUVENIR COLUMN IN
Read on for the recipe from Papiamento.... Read More...
On the Road with Kevin Brauch
(Extended, unedited version) 
The Toronto-based host of The Thirsty Traveler TV show, Brauch makes a neighbourhood pub crawl look like a cakewalk: he combs the entire world in search of weird and wonderful alcoholic libations. Sixty episodes of the show are now airing on Discovery, The UK Travel Channel, Discovery Asia, Fine Living and BBC Canada.
But Brauch, a self-professed “jeans n’ t-shirt guy,” is just as happy in a dive bar as a flashy cocktail joint. Reb Stevenson caught up with him at Toronto’s Victory Cafe – over a beer, of course.
What came first, your thirst for travel or your thirst for booze?
Booze. The first drink I had was when I was five or six. My dad let me have a sip of his beer at the cottage. I hated the flavour, but I thought if I was drinking his beer, he might think I was old and I might be able to stay up later and watch more TV. The first time I was on a plane was when I was 18. Since then I’ve done almost 700 flights.
Read More...
Aruba's Aloe-mentary Therapy
By Reb Stevenson
ORANJESTAD, ARUBA –Alongside tobacco, unprotected sex and high fructose corn syrup, sunburns rank amongst the 21st century’s biggest health no-no’s.
However, just one glance at Aruba’s pristine white beaches reveals that many a sunbather shrugs off the doctor’s orders and persists in baking their epidermis into a deep, throbbing scarlet.
On the bright side, for folks who feel that “colour” yields incomparable bragging rights upon their return to Northern climes, Aruba is quite possibly the world’s best place to burn.
This is because the small Caribbean island, which is part of the Kingdom of the Netherlands, is the world’s largest exporter of a popular natural remedy for ailing skin: aloe vera.
READ MORE...
How 'Bout a Belly Buster Tonight?
By Reb Stevenson
You can find a slab of fatty beef snuggled between two half moons of nutritionally bankrupt white bread pretty much anywhere in America. These days, the ultimate reward for burger-seeking tourists is to stumble upon something out of the ordinary. More often than not, that also happens to be something that will send them directly to hospital. Here are a few possibilities: Read More...
Good FOUR You!
This year, I’ve had the opportunity to experience LOTS of fine dining in various countries. And eating rich, cream-smeared, foie-gras injected foods day after day is great - especially if you want to be a contestant on the next Biggest Loser. Seriously...this is one of my major travel pet-peeves. I’m all for indulgence, just not for a week straight.
That’s why I was delighted to discover FOUR - a restaurant in downtown Toronto where all the dishes weigh in at under 650 calories.
Is it called FOUR because they only use lettuce, celery, water and aspartame? I wondered that myself. The answer is...(drumroll) no. Actually, I don’t know the real answer. And lets not ruin the mystery by finding out.
Given FOUR’s slick, modern ambiance, it’s especially popular with the Bay Street lunchtime crowd (types that are eating out 5 days a week), but I think it would be a wise choice for health-conscious travellers as well.
Chef Matt Rosen consults a nutritionist about each and every creation to ensure that meals are balanced and within the calorie limit.
“It’s a challenge to make something that tastes good and is under the 650 calories,” he says.
“The key is to use things that have really intense flavours, like a tapenade.”
Instead of going all funky and serving things you’d have to look up in the Dictionary of Rare Hippie Health Foods, FOUR is decidedly traditional. Think Beef Tenderloin, Greek Lamb Salad and Chicken Meatballs. Sure, elements like bran fusilli and flax seed crisps sneak in there, but they don’t overwhelm the dishes.
I really enjoyed my meal at FOUR...in fact, I could hardly discern that I was eating at a “healthy alternative.” I especially loved the fresh-squeezed blueberry lemonade, the brie, almond and apple burger ($9) and the cute little shot glass desserts ($2). Of course, if you shoot more than one you’re also shooting your calorie count in the foot.
FOUR VITALS:
Address: 187 Bay Street
Hours: 11:30am to 11pm, Monday to Friday
Phone: 416-368-1444
Price Range: $9 to $25 for a main.
Also, note that FOUR is participating in Toronto’s Winterlicious Event. Check out their menu here:
FOUR Winterlicious Menu 2010
Hopping Around Fort Collins
After two nights in room 217 at The Stanley Hotel in Estes Park (The Stephen King Suite), I was very pleased to slip between the sheets at the un-haunted Armstrong Hotel in Fort Collins, Colorado. I’m loving the art deco theme (see their website, I’m a big fan of the design) and fresh colours that liven up this boutique property in the heart of the old town!
Egg Nog French Toast, Hells Yeah!
While perusing the dairy fridge at the store the other day, it occurred me to that egg nog is pretty much French Toast without the bread. So I decided to invent this extra special holiday recipe just for you folks!
With a fork, blend the following in a shallow dish:
- Two eggs
- One cup egg nog, in all its fatty, creamy glory
- One teaspoon vanilla extract
- Pinch cinnamon
- Pinch nutmeg
Dip thick slices of Challah Bread into this glorious mixture (French Toast is ALWAYS better with challah, a braided Jewish egg bread. I made my own for this project, but you might be able to find some in your grocery store. If not, opt for thick-cut white bread.)
Fry in REAL BUTTER (cannot stress enough, shun the margarine for the love of god!) until golden.
Serve with a spiced cranberry sauce. For mine, I boiled a cup of fresh cranberries, 1/4 cup raisins, 1/2 cup sugar, pinch cinnamon, pinch nutmeg and a dash of spiced rum until the cranberries broke down and it seemed to be a saucy texture.
Garnish with coconut and fresh mint for that Christmassy look! And don’t forget to serve with real maple syrup...even if you’re American.
Makes about 5-6 pieces.
Even Oatmeal likes to Dress Up for Xmas
Of course you have. And so do I. Every. Single. Day.
I’ve never been much of a blog reader, but recently someone posted a link on Facebook that got me addicted to a blog called Kath Eats Real Food.
Basically, this girl named Kath Younger who lives in North Carolina blogs about everything she eats. It all started when she realized that she had put on a fair bit of weight in college. Determined to get back in shape, she shed 30 pounds by eating healthy and exercising (shocker, I know! And all these years, I thought inhaling KFC skin was the secret to success!!!).
What’s great about Kath’s blog is that she’s likeable, honest and inspiring, and she understands the value of posting oodles of photos. Turns out, other people have just as much of a voyeuristic streak as I do - Kath’s blog is immensely popular, garnering hundreds of comments every day!
So, what does this have to do with Yuletide?
- Well, one of Kath’s huge passions is oatmeal (see her instructional video, left), and last year she concocted a rather creative version of her fave breakfast for a contest. She has agreed to share it with y’all on my blog today.
Season's Greetings!
I've made hundreds (and hundreds!) of oatmeal combinations throughout the past two years of food blogging and this holiday Winter Wonderland oatmeal stands out as one of my most unique and delicious recipes. I didn't expect the flavors to work so well together, but peppermint and coconut were made for one another. Happy Holiday Eating!
- Kath
And here’s the recipe:
Winter Quakerland Oatmeal
Serves 1
- ¾ cup Quaker Old Fashioned oatmeal (heart-healthy serving)
- 1 ¼ cups water
- ¼ cup Silk Soy Milk Egg Nog
- 1/8 tsp ground nutmeg
- 1 tsp (about 4 grams) crushed candy cane
- 1 tsp (about 7 grams) chopped walnuts, toasted in a dry skillet if desired
- 1 tsp powdered sugar
- Crush candy cane in a zip top bag with a heavy pot, mallet, or rolling pin
- Combine oats, water and Silk Nog in a non-stick pot and set heat to medium.
- When oatmeal begins to thicken, begin to whip vigorously with a spatula, allowing the starch to be released.
- Continue whipping oats until reaching desired thickness, about 5 minutes.
- Stir in nutmeg.
- Pour oatmeal into bowl and top with crushed candy cane and walnuts.
- Dust with powdered sugar.
- Enjoy!
Homepage for the Holidays!
I love the scent of a real tree, the look of lights twinkling against the snow and the possibility of eating sugar plums, even though I don’t have a freakin’ clue what those are.
I even sorta, kinda, maybe like Wham’s Last Christmas - even after the 100 billionth play at the mall. (Pretty much the worst video ever though...I can’t believe the edited out the orgy scene)
To indulge my love of this gloriously excessive holiday, for the month of December I will be dedicating this blog to all things XMAS - cooking, crafting, decorating, obnoxious carolling, movie watching, weight gaining, some travel, gift ideas and general merrymaking! Follow me as I make my way from Toronto back home to Vancouver Island, where I vow to add to the dysfunction by assaulting my family with my camera and compulsive need to blog!
Here are a couple o’ pics from “Last Christmas” - my bros and I giving our mom a human sleigh ride, and my dad simultaneously playing the keys and cutting the turkey.
Most importantly, I want to hear from you! Got a favourite holiday recipe, craft or tradition you’d like to share? Just email me a photo of yourself with said cake/wreath/game of naked holiday twister along with the instructions and I’ll post it here!
As Emilio Estevez uttered in Young Guns: “I’ll make you famous.”
(Of course, then he shot the person. I wouldn’t do that, not at Christmas.)
To kick things off, I offer you this look at HOLIDAY DESSERTS FROM EUROPE, a little story I penned for aol.ca.
~Hark, what is yon sound? 'Tis the sweet tooth singing "Hallelujah!" For between the sugar plums, the candy canes, the gingerbread and the chocolate oranges, Christmas is a veritable blizzard of granulated sugar. Looking for some new ideas to enliven your table this year? Try some old ones. Check out our gallery of traditional European holiday desserts.~
(Click this link for descriptions and recipes from England, Italy, France, Spain, Germany and Denmark!)
A Taste of…Mexico
Where is it? Guadalajara
Describe it? Despite all the teachings of the venerable Taco Bell academy, the truth is that Mexican food in Mexico goes well beyond the burrito. Case in point: tortas ahogadas. This ultra-local dish is consumed almost exclusively in Guadalajara, Mexico’s second largest city. A crusty baguette is filled with tender, roast pork and served alongside a searing sauce (dried chili pepper, vinegar, garlic and oregano). The idea is to lubricate the Sammie with the spice and chase away last night’s tequila binge. And make sure you really immerse it – after all, “ahogadas” means “drowned.”
How much? $4 at this restaurant (El Abajeno) in the suburb of Tlaquepaque.
Let Them Eat Macaroons!
Patricia runs several classes out of a stylish little kitchen that is situated right in the heart of Versailles. The one that is best suited to tourists starts with a guided visit to the old market followed by a traditional french cooking class.
The market definitely delivered in the culture shock department: apart from the expected baguettes and cheeses, I saw chickens with their heads still attached, furry rabbits strung up and a whole arsenal of gamey terrines, mousses and other scary blended meats.
Unfortunately, the macaroons were a multi-step process that took well over an hour so I doubt I’ll be making them anytime soon in Canada. Besides, Marie Antoinette’s openly verbalized passion for desserts certainly didn’t help her get ahead (pun intended).
A Taste of...Quebec
Where is it? Ile d’Orleans and Quebec City
Describe it? Try as you might, you’re not going to leave Quebec City without a maple souvenir of some kind. But if you want something a little more grown up than a basic can of #2 amber, look to Cidrerie Bilodeau. Their “Fascination”, an apple mistelle flavoured with maple syrup, can be imbibed as a digestif, drizzled on sorbet, added to crepes Suzette or used for marinating pork and chicken. The 6-acre orchard itself is located about 15 minutes from Quebec City (you can pick your own apples there from mid-August to October), but Cidrerie Bilodeau also has a large booth in the city’s Marche du Vieux Port.
How much? $8 per bottle at the Marche du Vieux Port (www.cidreriebilodeau.qc.ca).
Crucial Travel Information
...because we all know it’s the petty details - not security or landing gear maintenance - that matter.
Also, while we’re talking overnight flights, I’d like to make a few observations:
1) When you get up from your seat for a comfort break, DO NOT use the seat in front of you as a railing with which to steady yourself. There is usually a person trying to sleep in said seat - a person who will not appreciate the man-made turbulence.
2) Dear Lufthansa: maybe, just maybe, you could remove those ashtrays instead of leaving them as a terrifying reminder that we’re flying on a vintage plane. You build flying metal birds. I think you have the technology to bust out a screwdriver and get rid of those suckas.
3) Dear Luddites: when you encounter a touch-screen entertainment system, freaking out and spastically hitting the screen over and over will not make Angels and Demons start to play.
4) Dear Lufthansa: Hi..it’s me again. Sorry, I forget something. While you’ve got the screwdriver out, maybe you could look at making muzzles for babies who feel the need to air all their pent-up grievances between takeoff and landing (I’ve seen them in customs afterwards, all dimples and coos...I’m onto them). Oh, sorry, am I being heartless? Maybe we could stow them in the overhead bins instead. Give ‘em a blanket and a pillow or something. See? I care.
Five Feasts in Vancouver
By Reb Stevenson
Finding a restaurant while travelling is a lot like lookin’ for love.
a) You want something you can brag about.
b) You don’t want to think that too many people have been there before you.
Vancouver boasts schools of fancy fish restaurants, where fillets are stacked just so atop rare root vegetables and drizzled with some sort of reduction or foam. And while these high maintenance lovelies are nice to look at, they’re not the charming down-home locals that you could be meeting.
Here are five independent Vancouver restaurants that are delicious, unusual and off the beaten path.
It's a Bird! It's a Plane! It's Free Food!
THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU Porter Air, for being the last airline in Canada to provide free food to customers. Sure, it’s just half a boring sandwich, arid Melba Toast and a wee Babybel, but it’s appreciated, as is the classy glassware.
From Toronto, Porter now flies to Ottawa, Quebec City, Montreal, Halifax, Thunder Bay, St. John’s, Boston, Chicago and New York. So if you don’t feel like blowing $8 on a roast beef wrap that looks like it’s been trampled in a stampede, consider flying Porter.
Cheese As Entertainment
STORY AND PHOTOS BY REB STEVENSON
You could call it the mother of all cheesy tourist attractions: Little Qualicum Cheeseworks, a place that prides itself on delivering “cheese as entertainment.”
Set against picturesque Mount Arrowsmith in the middle of Vancouver Island, B.C., the Cheeseworks is both a mecca for foodies and a destination for a simple, tasty afternoon in the country. Read More...
Three Things You Can Bet on in Reno
1. The incessant bleepy-bloops of the slots.
2. The depressed blobs in Hawaiian shirts who play them.
3. The surreal, labyrinthine layout that has you going in circles, desperately trying to catch a glimpse of daylight so you can identify an exit!
Therefore, I set out to find a few things in Reno, Nevada, that are authentic, fun and necessitate going outdoors. Here are the spoils:
Lured by a sign promising a $1.99 breakfast, I wandered into the back of The Nugget Casino only to find what just might be the most authentic and enjoyable eatery in Reno. The staff and customers at this 66-year-old institution were chatty and welcoming. And if you know what you’re doing, you’ll order the Awful Awful Burger (“‘cause it’s awful big and awful good”), a beef monstrosity set atop a pound of fries for $6.77. The most shocking bit: everybody was ordering it for breakfast!!!!
Because I’m of the female persuasion, I react to a “car museum” the way a male would to a “china doll emporium.” However, Reno’s National Automobile Museum is surprisingly girl-friendly. Cars from as early as 1892 are parked along cool streetscapes, there are costume displays to complement the wheels, and (best part) you can even play dress up.
BASQUE DINING
Northern Nevada had a major influx of Basque immigrants last century, and Reno is home to two unique restaurants. I popped my head into the Santa Fe, which has been serving “family-style” meals since 1949. What that means is that you plunk yourself down
Owner Philippe Zubillaga, a congenial and unpretentious chap, told me: “everywhere you go now, there’s a television and a sports bar atmosphere. This forces everyone’s hand because you have to talk to your neighbour. I appreciate that it can still happen.”
A full dinner consisting of regional cuisine like oxtails, Lomo Pork, beans, fries, salad, bread, table wine and dessert costs $19.
I'd Kill for Bill's
56 Cliffe High Street
BRIGHTON
100 North Road
The Big Picture: Want Chips with That?
The Big Picture: How 'bout dem apples?
“Stop!!” I squealed at my driver, as we sped wildly through rural Macedonia.
It took a fair bit of effort for him to do so, since our average speed was about 120 kilometres per hour (a Sunday drive by Macedonian standards).
Out of nowhere, half a dozen women had appeared by the side of the road, each manning one of these identical apple stands. I simply HAD to photograph them, which means I was obligated to buy their wares ($2 got me enough to keep the doctor at bay for a good week or so).
Gotta be honest: the fruit was mealy as heck. But what a juicy photo!
All Aboard at Steam Whistle
By Reb Stevenson
FREE BEER.
If you're female, the acquisition of said beverage usually necessitates some serious eyelash batting and a plunging neckline. For males, it probably entails something a bit shadier, like cooler raiding at a campground.
None of the above applies at Steam Whistle Brewery in Toronto. You get two eight-ounce glasses of their premium pilsner beer just for walking in off the street -- you don't even have to take the brewery tour.
Read More...
Most. Insane. Menu. Ever.
Where: Rockland, Maine, USA
What: The anti-Denny’s menu. Long, text-heavy, and just plain nuts. Should not be approached without a puffy armchair and reading glasses. Will take at least an hour to decipher, at which time you’ll be full of bread anyway .
Menu Highlights: A salad with fries in it. “Aggablagga” (owner blanked when it came to a name). Meatloaf, curry and everything in between. In other words, literally everything.
www.cafemiranda.com
A Taste of ... Morocco
What is it? A bowl full of snails
Where is it? Morocco
Describe it? As the sun sets over Marrakech, the main square (Djemma el Fna) springs to life as an outdoor food court. Smoke dominates the air, vendors sing their praises of their stalls and many stomach-challenging delicacies are on offer. One of the cheapest is a big steaming bowl full of snails in a spicy broth. Wielding a toothpick, you extract the slimy creatures from their shells, try to avoid gazing into their sad little faces and give your mandible a workout – oh yes, they’re chewy little suckers.
How much? Pocket change.
From my food and drink column in
Barbaric Borthwick!
After a month solid of labouring on farms through the wwoof scheme, I figured it was time to shed my Cinderella alter-ego and return to my royal roots (bet you didn’t know I was the Duchess of Delusions).
So I hauled my dirt-encrusted self to Borthwick Castle in Scotland. This 15th century fortified dwelling has been a hotel for some 30 years, and at 120 to 200 pounds per night, it’s a swanky affair indeed.
However, don’t let that price convince you that everything’s safe n’ sound ‘round Borthwick.
If you look closely at the exterior of the Castle, you will note two square towers. Between them is the chasm known in the days of yore as the “Prisoner’s Leap.” Lord Borthwick, exhibiting a playful side, held an annual sporting event for his prisoners: they would be granted complete freedom if they could jump across the 12-foot wide gap between the towers. The only catch: their hands were tied behind their backs AND their legs were adorned with a big ole ball and chain. Oh, and a cluster of spikes below ensured complete, total and utter death (as though the 100 foot drop wouldn’t do the trick).
Did anyone ever make it? “No,” assistant manager David Sinclair told me with absolute certainty.
Well, they say that the colour red actually whets one’s appetite. And so I hopped from the “Prisoner’s Leap” to the Great Hall for dinner. It seems that little has changed since the days when Mary, Queen of Scots stayed here. The Great Hall is stony and moody, rich with the complimentary aromas of the ever-crackling wood fire and the meat cooking in the adjacent kitchen.
The hostess gazed upon me with that “you’re alone, what a shame” look and sat me down with a family of four: the Wanners. It turns out that dad Kirby, mom Francine and sibs Emma, 10 and Cole, 8, are a Calgarian family who have swapped Alberta for Nice, France for a year (can you blame them? You can check out the blog chronicling their experiences abroad at www.mytripjournal.com/wannerfamily).
Cole, a smiley little chap blessed with superb dimples, tucked into his salmon with gusto. Emma settled on the chicken fingers, declaring that she would “rather attempt the jump” than let haggis anywhere near her mouth.
Figuring that if you’re going to try haggis, you may as well try it in a castle, I ordered the traditional Scottish dish, complete with neeps (turnips) and tatties (potatoes). I deliberately avoiding googling or wikipedia-ing haggis prior to my arrival- who needs a reminder that it is essentially organ potpourri? This ignorance served me well as - lo and behold - it was shockingly tasty!
Despite its imposing structure, Borthwick Castle is an intimate hotel There are only 10 rooms, all of which deliver that authentic castle feel. And due to conservation issues there is no television. That’s okay, you can entertain yourself by perspiring in bed as your imagination runs wild, especially if you’re in The Red Room...(cue music from “The Shining”)...
Several of the rooms at Borthwick - including The Red Room - have tiny little cubby holes (now converted to bathrooms) once known as Luggies Coves. A maid would stow away in the cove 24/7, awaiting further instruction from the tenant of the bedchamber. But one of the many Lord Borthwicks got serviced well beyond the routine chamber pot disposal, and the poor maid wound up pregnant. To avoid any claims to the family fortune, gentle Borthwick sent two guards into The Red Room, where the maid was on duty in the Luggies Cove. They dragged her out and savagely murdered her on the spot. Apparently the room was saturated with blood.
Of course, the usual compendium of ghost stories started trickling in. So in the 1970s, Borthwick Castle actually hired an exorcist. Sinclair reports that while the hauntings subsided, a mysterious feminine form appeared on the mantlepiece shortly thereafter. If you fancy a round of “magic eye,” just gaze at the picture below and try to imagine a pregnant woman lying on her back (head is on the left).
I would tell you more about Borthwick Castle but I’ve just noticed a bizarre swirl in my haggis, and it looks kinda like SEAN CONNERRY!!!!! Whoops, is he still alive? Crap. It must be WILLIAM WALLACE!!!!! Sending out a press release, pronto.
A Very Tesco Breakfast
What is it? All Day Breakfast
Where is it? U.K.
Describe it: Celebrity chefs like Jamie Oliver and Gordon Ramsay have done a lot to overturn England’s reputation for bad cuisine. On the flip side of the coin you have this not-so-posh culinary masterpiece. The All Day Breakfast contains baked beans, sausages, button mushrooms, chopped pork, egg nuggets, cereal AND bacon. Yes, all in one civilized can. You may as well just dump in your cuppa tea while you’re at it.
How much? 98 pence (about $1.88 CAD) at the grocery store.
Liquid Viagra, or Just Twigs in Booze?
What is it? Homemade spiced rum
Where is it? St. Lucia
Describe it: Stumble into any of the cute wooden rum shacks on St. Lucia and your eyes will be drawn to a batch of this boozy brew – which looks rather like kindling steeping in Kool-Aid. It’s an “under-the-counter” libation, a.k.a. an aphrodisiac. Recipes vary and are handed down through generations. The flavourful (read: throat singeing) liquid is based on strong rum and may or may not contain honey, crème de menthe, anise, raisins, cherry, cinnamon roots, bois bande, grenadine and marijuana root. They say it will “put lead in a man’s pencil” and make a woman “squishy in the knees.”
How much? A shot is $3.50 Eastern Caribbean Dollars , which is $1.50 Canadian.
FROM MY BIWEEKLY FOOD AND SOUVENIR COLUMN IN
YES! This product has been tested and approved by REB