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Sleeping Around in a Church
03/04/10 08:57 Filed in: Sleeping Around | Europe
PARIS, FRANCE - I’ve just spent two nights at a hotel with a clingy curry aroma.
At first, the 30-Euro-a-night price seems worth any nasal inconvenience. But then I discover my neighbour is a communal hallway toilet that glugs like a hyperventilating swamp monster in the middle of the night.
Therefore, my next destination - Hotel Saint Merry - is a godsend.
While the intricate dark wood sconces and exposed beams hint that it wasn’t always a hotel, the presence of carved Jesuses and Marys confirms Hotel Saint Merry was far more pious than a private house.
Some 400 years ago the hotel was part of a church. Specifically, it served as the lodgings for the resident priests.
It looks like sweet serenity is in the cards. Hallelujah!
Other than the dress code, not much has physically changed since Hotel Saint Merry’s church days.
Described as “creepily beautiful” by one perceptive entry in the guestbook, the hotel has retained a unique, religious charm that one can’t help but worship with their eyes.
My impression starts with the reception area, a shadowy, low-ceilinged room on the second floor.
“Is that a confession booth?” I ask the receptionist, gesturing toward a wooden chamber.
“Oui!” she giggles. “But it is a closet now.”
Old chandeliers and specially commissioned faux-gothic art line the spiraling staircase (no elevators, I’m afraid – chalk it up to European charm), which leads to 11 rooms and one suite.
Situated on the top floor, as close to heaven as possible, the suite is the only room within Hotel Saint-Merry to offer a TV set. It sleeps up to five and décor includes a robust wooden dining table, a grandfather clock and some carved figures of what seem to be gnomes – or at least members of the woodland sprite family.
You’ll have to stoop and get into that role yourself to access the bidet: the portal to the bathroom is a short ornate doorway more befitting a choirboy than a full-grown priest.
Why the ‘i” ending on the church but not the hotel, I wonder? Did they change it in the eighties when people started naming their babies Kerri instead of Kerry?
I don’t get into that heavy topic with manager Pierre Juin, but we do discuss the types of guests that frequent Hotel Saint-Merry.
“Some clients who have faith come here and go to church in the morning,” he says. “But most are not religious.”
Take, for instance, the group who asked to do a private photo shoot in room #9, which is by far the most unique setup in the hotel. Two massive concrete flying buttresses burst out of the wall above the bed and plunge into the floor below.
After the fact, the hotel received some copies of the resulting photos. Turns out there was a fair bit of nude flesh involved.
What became of the art? Why, the Hotel Saint Merry mounted it on the wall in the stairwell. How’s that for a definitive statement that they’re no longer a church?
Should the erotica prove inspirational, visitors should also note that there are two sex shops next door.
Additionally, The Centre Pompidou (a major museum and cultural centre) and La Tour Saint-Jacques (a 500-year-old tower that was just re-opened after a three year renovation) are just a stone’s throw away.
As I slide beneath my green velvet blanket into a bed of average comfort, I fantasize about the croissant-laden continental breakfast that will be delivered to my room in the morning. Guests have their choice of coffee or hot chocolate, and I’ve appeased my inner child by selecting the former.
A repetitive clanging noise pierces the air at 9am sharp. It’s the church bells, doing their thing from now until 9pm, every 15 minutes.
I guess modern day visitors still have one thing in common with the priests of yore: a yearning for the luxury of a snooze button.
JUST THE FACTS
Rates at Hotel Saint Merry range from 160 Euros to 407 Euros per night, including breakfast.
For more information, visit www.hotel-saintmerry.com or call +33(0)1 42781415
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