REB RECOMMENDS...British Columbia

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QUALICUM BEACH: Fancy sleeping like an Ewok? (Um, I said like, not WITH..weirdo). You haven’t really lived until you’ve spent a night swaying amongst the boughs at Qualicum Beach’s formidable Free Spirit Spheres. Read my full story on those here.

COOMBS: On your way to the North Island, take the Alberni Highway to the Old Country Market, a rustic - if touristy - spot where the claim to fame is goats on the roof. Don’t leave without getting an ice cream cone - the teenage employees really heap it on.

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PARKSVILLE: Only locals like me know about Little Mountain, an off-the-beaten path spot where you will be treated to an incredible view of the mountains and treetops (see pic, right). To get there, head North on the Alberni Highway, turn left on Bellevue Road and left on Little Mountain Road. Proceed to the top, where there is a small parking lot.
Little Qualicum Cheeseworks is a neat place to stop if you’re feeling like nibbling some local artisan cheese and sipping blackberry wine in a cute country setting.
Also in Parksville, The Beach Club offers top-notch modern rooms that seem to be hovering right over the beach.

NANAIMO: Well, for starters, it is imperative that you sink your teeth into the world-famous local cuisine: the Nanaimo Bar (ok, look, I know you can get them in New York, but it’s just different in the hometown). You can get a nice fluffy one at Mon Petit Choux, a Nanaimo Bar Martini at the Modern Cafe and a sorta worrisome deep fried version at Pirate Chips.
The Dinghy Dock Pub, Canada’s only floating pub, will delight anyone who wants to get obscenely drunk and blame their loss of motor skills on the tides. It’s located on Protection Island, just a ten minute ferry ride ($8) from the Nanaimo harbour. Also accessible by ferry is Newcastle Island, a car-free recreation area where you can camp, picnic, hike, swim or just stare blankly into space as birds chirp in the background.

THE MALAHAT: What impressed me the most at The Aerie Resort (a Relais and Chateaux property that occupies an enviable spot on the Malahat Mountain)? It wasn’t the comfy rooms. It wasn’t the amuse-bouches at the romantic restaurant. Nope, it was the gym. Something about staring out at a sweeping mountain vista makes a treadmill so much less painful.

VICTORIA: When you tire of doilies or just crave a sanitizing spritz from a bidet hose, it’s got to be Villa Marco Polo Inn in Rockland. Now, if Craigdarroch Castle was available as a B&B, I’d be recommending that instead. But sadly, we’ve got to settle for visiting the 1891-built mansion as a museum. In keeping with the Victorian theme, I suppose one can justify gorging on chocolates at Rogers Chocolates. The old-fashioned storefront remains unchanged since its youth. YOU will be changed if you eat too many of their Victoria Creams.

The Tomahawk Restaurant in North Vancouve,r B.C.
VANCOUVER: Convince yourself that you’re one of the cast of the Twilight films by checking into the chic Opus Hotel in Yaletown. Or just star in your own show at one of their bathrooms, which are found on the exterior of the buildings. ***And now we interrupt our regular gender neutral programming to bring you an unbashedly, girly, bubblegummy pink link: Yaletown’s beauty product mecca, BeautyMark . Girls, go there. Just trust me *** As for chowing down in Vancouver, that’s a breeze - Vancouver is one of my favourite dining cities, and I’m not talking about all those restaurants that carefully stack fish fillets ontop of squiggly lines of balsamic/acai reduction. For awesome vegetarian eats, check out The Naam (which is open 24 hours, no less). For the complete opposite, gorge on slow-cooked meats at Memphis Blues. And for politically incorrect, Native-inspired kitsch, there’s nothing better than The Tomahawk. Did I say “native?” I meant “injun.”

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